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Category Archive: Conflict Resolution

Apr 04

What Is Feedback & How To Give It

Giving feedback is an honest two way dialogue with another person without any intent to show them down or in poor light. Feedback is not a bashing exercise!

Feedback helps people maximize their potential at different stages of life or career, it raise their awareness of strengths and areas for improvement, and helps them to identify actions to be taken for improving performance.

When to Give Feedback

Whether you’re an employee, manager, or entrepreneur, the people you work with will make mistakes at some point—and you’ll have to address them , Feedback is one of the best tools to use.

When you recognize an issue or problem, giving feedback is the clearest, quickest way to encourage a change in behavior. It can help a co-worker focus on the key areas he or she needs to work on. Plus, many people are motivated or inspired by well-delivered feedback, and will perform at a higher level because of it.

Your feedback doesn’t have to be limited to the people who report to you, either. It’s possible to give constructive suggestions to co-workers and even superiors, as long as you position it in a helpful, insightful way.

How to Give Feedback

1. Ask for Permission

You would be surprised how much of a difference this makes. A simple “Hey, do you have a minute for some quick feedback?” can help the receiver be mentally ready for it, be it positive or negative.

2. State What You Observed

Where possible, use specific examples and avoid being judgmental. “You don’t give off a lot of energy in meetings” is not as helpful as, “In the meeting with Tina yesterday, I noticed your body language was rather passive.”

3. Explain the Impact

Point out the direct impact that resulted from this behavior, and again be as specific as possible. Saying, “When you called the meeting to an end without leaving time for discussion, it made me feel like you did not value the team’s input” or “I noticed that the clients were upset” is much more effective than “When you don’t leave time for a discussion, you look like a control freak.”

Statements like “it made me feel” and “I noticed that” are more difficult to argue with, and using those phrases will keep the feedback session from devolving into a debate.

4. Pause

When you’ve said your piece, stop. And then ask for the other person’s reaction. Give them time to think through what you’ve said and react to it.

5. Suggest Concrete Next Steps

Give a small number of actionable suggestions (ideally only one or two) that the other person can take in the future, to change this behavior. They will appreciate that you’re giving them the first step to improving the situation.

What Does Good Feedback Look Like?

Try it yourself! Practice giving feedback with a partner, or record yourself and listen to the play-back. And make sure you’re avoiding these common errors that can turn feedback into fights:

Choose one issue at a time! Focusing on too many skills or behaviors at once is confusing and overwhelming, and can feel like an all-out attack.

Don’t be too critical or focus too heavily on the negative. Feedback should inspire the other person to improve, not make them wallow in where they went wrong. Giving a piece of good feedback with negative feedback makes it easier to swallow.

But don’t avoid real problems, either. If there’s an issue, don’t be afraid to state it. Avoid vagueness. Use specific examples, and connect those behaviors to the impact they have. Leave plenty of time for the recipient of your feedback to ask or answer questions and respond to what you’ve said.

 

Part of this article is written by Kathryn Minshew and is posted on dailymuse. Kathryn is The Daily Muse’s number one swashbuckler. Prior to founding the company, Kathryn worked on vaccine introduction in Rwanda and Malawi with the Clinton Health Access Initiative and previously worked as a management consultant at McKinsey & Company. She’s appeared on CNN, Fast Company, PBS, Forbes’ 30-Under-30 in Media and INC’s 15 Women to Watch in Tech. When not at work, Kathryn is an avid globe-trotter and an adventurous cook. Say hi on Twitter @KMin.

Be Happy & Live Happy!

Jappreet Sethi

1 comment

Oct 01

How To Tackle A Difficult Boss

It’s a vexing problem for many – they like their job but just don’t seem to be able to get along with their boss.  Obviously, the first impulse of many who have a difficult boss is to hand in their papers and search for another job. Is this always the best decision to take? One of the things you like about your job may be the financial security it brings with it. Is scuttling this security worth it just because of a difficult boss?

There are other ways to handle such a situation. Here are some tips on handling a difficult boss. These tips will not work in all situations. Your boss may be a genuinely unreasonable man, in which case it may be prudent to look elsewhere. However, we often perceive our bosses as difficult only because we are scared of them. Fear closes down communication, which means that resolution of the problem is impossible.

  • Stop gossiping about your boss. The spoken word has immense power – over you, over those you work with and over the general office atmosphere.

If you have been unable to communicate your grievances directly to your boss, you may have fallen in the habit of bad-mouthing him or her to all who will listen. This creates two problems – firstly, it reinforces your own negative feelings about your boss, making the problem worse. Secondly, it can strain your relations with your boss further because word travels quickly in an office setting. The more you complain to those who cannot make a difference in your problem, and the more slander against your boss you indulge in, the worse the situation becomes.

  • Communication is the key to resolving most problems in life. If you do not communicate your issues to your difficult boss, he can hardly be blamed for not being part of the solution.

The intangible concept of ‘relationship’ comes into play here. You need to build a better relationship with your boss, and this involves communication. How many times have you approached him or her personally? Muster up the courage to approach your boss and outline your problems diplomatically. Be sure to mention that you are happy with your job, but that you would like to enjoy better professional comfort levels. Be specific about the nature of your problem and ask if there is any way you could help in resolving it. You may be surprised at how open people can be if they are approached properly and sincerely.

  • If you feel or have been told that your boss has a negative impression about you, strive to change that opinion.

Your boss’ antipathy toward you may be well-founded. You may be under-performing, gossiping about the management or be fraternizing too much with other negative people. Make efforts to correct this course. Drop out of office gossip and groups that indulge in it. Offer to work over-time on a crucial project, and ask your boss if there any areas he or she wishes you to improve upon.

We tend to look at our bosses as super-human people who do not think, feel and react like we do. This is a mistake. In any given situation involving your boss, ask yourself if you would not have reacted in the same manner if the shoe were on the other foot.  Once you are able to see your boss as just another human being, you may begin to understand where the problem lies and what you can do about it.

Jappreet Sethi

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Jul 18

Tips On How to Handle Workplace Conflicts In Style

There is nobody who has not had problems at work, and these problems invariably involve one’s supervisor, co-workers or even boss. Workplace conflicts are common – but the skills to handle them adroitly are not. Many employees react to workplace conflicts the way they would in any social conflict situation – from the gut. This is inappropriate, because the dynamics or workplace relationships – and therefore the consequences of workplace conflict – differ from normal social situations.

There are a number of different factors to consider while handling conflict on the job. Obviously, the first is whether the tussle is with your co-worker (a peer) or your supervisor/boss (seniors). If your problem involves a co-worker and you feel you have a strong case, attempting to solve the problem with the concerned person should be your first approach. If this proves unfruitful, taking it to your supervisor is appropriate. On the other hand, if your issue involves your supervisor, you need to go above their head and place the issue before another member of the company’s management.

A word of caution on reporting a co-worker to your supervisor. Most workplaces have their cliques that often involve someone placed higher up. In the final analysis, humans are social animals, and the herd instinct percolates into all strata of human relationships. Before lodging your complaint or seeking resolution, ensure that your supervisor is not part of the co-worker’s circle. If he or she is, it does not mean that you have to take your workplace conflict elsewhere – however, it does mean that you have to proceed with greater caution. Mentioning the problem in a pleasant, professional and diplomatic manner, eliminating all traces of spite, will usually work.

Your workplace conflict may involve someone higher up, such as your supervisor or manager. If so, lodging your complaint at the same level of the company’s pecking order is usually pointless. This is where the concept of hierarchy is an advantage to you. Schedule a meeting with the supervisor’s or manager’s immediate superior and plan your case in advance. Do not barge into the superior’s cabin without an appointment and launch into a tirade – you may get a hearing, but this approach is unprofessional and will get you nowhere.

The best way to schedule such a meeting is via email or telephone. Ensure that you do not lay out all the details of your workplace conflict at this point. Emails can be forwarded, and one-on-one telephone calls can be turned into conference calls with the touch of a button. The senior may decide to resolve the issue at once and rope the offending party into the discussion before you have had a chance to state your case. This could result in the workplace equivalent of a schoolyard argument, which would achieve nothing.

If you have any proof of unfair treatment (such as emails or memos) print these out before you make your case. You can also note down the time, date and a summary of events when you were harassed. If there is another co-worker who is willing to support your case in person, make sure that this person is available when you meet your senior. At all times before, during and after such an interaction, remain calm and professional.

A workplace conflict with the boss of the company can obviously only be addressed directly with the person concerned. Consider the attempted resolution of your issue with him or her the final test of your diplomacy skills and professionalism. It may be a good idea to scan the job market for other options before taking the problem up with your boss. If your issue involves unmanageable workload, an unreasonably low salary or lack of prospects and your boss refuses to meet you even half-way on it, you should be able to make a dignified exit.

Jappreet Sethi

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2011 Jappreet Sethi

3 comments