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Category Archive: Stress Management

Feb 17

“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.”

Sometimes a new thought or a new idea is all you need to make a lasting change. You can wake up one day and decide to make your entire life change.

If you are new to exercise or you dropped it for a while and you want to get back to doing it, the best way to begin is with small steps.What Do You Want To Do With Your Life

You don’t have to become an athlete overnight to make exercise a part of your lifestyle. It’s actually better if you commit to making small changes in your daily routine instead of reinventing yourself overnight, because you are more likely to stick with it.

Small changes in habits can lead to lasting, permanent change. So think baby steps and incorporate exercise into your life with these tips.

“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” — Jim Rohn

1.  Develop a “move more” mindset.

Carving out a specific hour of a day for a workout is great (and we will get to that in a little bit) but first, start each day with the mindset to move more. By reminding your body to get more movement throughout the day, you will be more likely to do it. So sit less and stand more. Take more steps and stairs. Walk to talk with a coworker instead of emailing them.

Stretch in your chair, squat to pick something up, park far away from stores so you will walk more, stand up when you talk on the phone and do some exercises while you watch TV. There are numerous ways you can sneak more movement into your day. Begin each day with a move more mindset and you will find them.

2.  Commit to regular activity.

You may not be the type of person who wants to train for a triathlon and that’s perfectly okay. You don’t have to become a fitness buff to benefit from exercise and movement. Start by committing to getting activity regularly. Schedule exercise like any other appointment on your calendar and treat it as a commitment rather than something you squeeze in if you have time. Even if you can only allot 15 minutes at a time, schedule it.

Take a short walk. Walk at a leisurely pace at first if exercise is new to you. You can build up to a power walk. If that’s not your thing, take a fitness class, swim laps or sign up for dance classes. Whatever exercise you start, build up slowly so you don’t overwhelm yourself and give up. If your body isn’t accustomed to regular exercise, build up slowly day by day so you don’t get too sore and throw in the towel altogether.

3.  Find your favorite exercise.

I know people who commit to a form of exercise and hate it. How long do you think they will keep that up? We aren’t inclined to dive in or stick to things we despise. Out of all the forms of exercise out there, find one you just love. Get really specific. Don’t just say, “yoga” discover what form of yoga is your favorite. If swimming is your thing, do you prefer swimming laps or water aerobics? Or maybe you’d dread a step class but you can’t get enough of Pilates.

A good way to identify what type of exercise is right for you is to first figure out if you like to exercise alone, with a partner or in a group setting. You may have to experiment a little bit before you know. Try different forms of exercise until you find one that energizes you physically and mentally. Find your favorite exercise—one where excuses won’t even enter the equation when it’s time to exercise.

4.  Focus on health and strength and what it means to you, and not on numbers on a scale.

Many people can get easily discouraged and give up when there’s too much emphasis on weight loss. Rather than an exclusive focus on weight loss, focus on the joys of exercise and movement instead. Take pride in your body getting stronger or your new ability to able to exercise longer, even if it’s just in baby steps. Think about the great way your body feels after exercise and the exhilaration you feel. Taking the time to consider what really connects you to exercise on an emotional level, is powerful because you can use those thoughts to motivate you.

Most likely what motivates you runs much deeper than getting skinnier or being a specific set of three numbers on a scale. Identify what it is for you. Maybe you want to have more energy for your children or grandchildren or you want to be in more control of your health—whatever is your core motivation—connect to it.

5.  Add strength training to your weekly routine.

Exercise isn’t just cardio alone. Strength training is critically important to retain muscle as you age, have a strong body and an effective metabolism. Even if you focus on just one muscle group a day and do three different exercises with three sets of 15 each for that muscle group you will benefit. You can divide strength training up throughout the week. Try two days a week to start and work up to three. Strength training will change how you feel, help you conquer your workouts with all that new muscle you are developing, and it’s the secret to a revved up metabolism.

6.  Put yourself first.

Stressful situations can take your focus away from properly caring for yourself. If you neglect yourself for the sake of external problems, you will be creating more problems than you are solving. Make sure you consider what you need and do something—however small—for yourself each day. Even if you only have 15 minutes, just commit to 15 minutes. It all goes back to the oxygen philosophy you hear about on planes flight attendants advice: “Put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.” Put the mask on you first and then your children. You aren’t able to effectively take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first. Keep that in mind.

7.  Exercise with a group.

Exercise doesn’t have to be a solo sport. Make it an outing with friends and family. When you join up with others to exercise, not only do you get the immediate benefits of exercise, you also get time spent with friends—a double deposit into your well-being. When you discover physical activities and forms of exercise you love, you develop a sense of camaraderie and community with others. Accountability works.

8.  Think of how exercise boosts your sense of well-being.

You probably know exercise can help you live longer and go a long way to disease prevention, but what you might find more rewarding is to think about all the immediate benefits exercise provides to your well-being. While the long-term benefits are numerous, let’s face it, many of us aren’t motivated by what we can prevent decades down the road. Think short-term instead. All of us can use exercise today to get more energy, alleviate stress, increase productivity, improve our outlook, sleep better and feel happier—today! Think about what you stand to gain if you work out today. Maybe it’s a sunnier disposition or the satisfaction in knowing you pushed your body. Just give it some thought or better yet, make a list.

9.  Look to the future

Don’t get caught up in guilt or regret because you haven’t worked out or don’t beat yourself up if it has been a while. Guilt and regret only make you feel badly, they don’t get you where you are headed. With a simple decision in your mind, you can let go of what you did or didn’t do and just start again. Look forward. If you are feeling badly about yourself, you are less likely to make positive change. Start over with a clear plan of what you will commit to doing each day for your health.

10.  Avoid stop and start and stop again syndrome

One great way to kill your confidence is to constantly start and stop your exercise routine. It’s common for people to get psyched up and dive in to working out and then drop it altogether when the craziness of life intervenes. But if you start and stop all the time, you are setting yourself up for a never-ending cycle, where you won’t see any progress. Don’t tackle the world in a day. Think baby steps. Think of what you can do and schedule today even if it’s small increments of time that you eventually build upon. Commit to what you can achieve, at least at first.

11.  Remind yourself daily of your why.

It’s easy to get off track if you aren’t reminding yourself of why working out and eating healthy is important to you. This goes back to your core motivation that we addressed earlier. If you make it automatic to wake up and remind yourself of why exercise is important to you, you will be more likely to keep your commitments to yourself. You also will be putting exercise front and center on your day instead of treating it as an afterthought that you skip at day’s end. Wake up thinking of what exercise you will do today and it becomes a priority.

12.  Stretch post workouts.

An effective exercise regimen involves cardio, strength training and stretching. Stretching after exercise can help relax and balance tension caused by the workout itself. Post-workout, when your body is warm is the ideal time to stretch. The risk of muscle injury is much lower, and you will save yourself from tight, sore muscles the following day. Plus, the calm, relaxing feeling of a good stretch is a great way to end a workout.

Try some of these steps to make exercise a part of your life. Remember, a great way to avoid skipping workouts is to ask yourself how you will feel afterward. You can feel proud of your dedication and gain the exhilaration of accomplishment, or you can be disappointed and defeated that you skipped, again.

About the Author

Chris Freytag is a health and fitness expert, blogger, author and motivational speaker. She has been teaching fitness classes and personal training for over 20 years. She is a contributing editor for Prevention Magazine; the fitness contributor for the NBC affiliate in Minneapolis; and sits on the Board of Directors for the American Council on Exercise.Visit Chris‘ website, www.chrisfreytag.com, and Facebook page,www.facebook.com/chrisfreytagpage for more information.

Oct 23

How to Be Happy @ Work | Stop Doing These 10 Things

Happiness–in your business life and your personal life–is often a matter of subtraction, not addition.  Aristotle said “Happiness depends upon ourselves”.

Consider, for example, what happens when you stop doing the following 10 things:

1. Blaming.

People make mistakes. Employees don’t meet your expectations. Vendors don’t deliver on time.So you blame them for your problems.

But you’re also to blame. Maybe you didn’t provide enough training. Maybe you didn’t build in enough of a buffer. Maybe you asked too much, too soon.

Taking responsibility when things go wrong instead of blaming others isn’t masochistic, it’s empowering–because then you focus on doing things better or smarter next time.

And when you get better or smarter, you also get happier.

2. Impressing.

No one likes you for your clothes, your car, your possessions, your title, or your accomplishments. Those are all “things.” People may like your things–but that doesn’t mean they like you.

Sure, superficially they might seem to, but superficial is also insubstantial, and a relationship that is not based on substance is not a real relationship.

Genuine relationships make you happier, and you’ll only form genuine relationships when you stop trying to impress and start trying to just be yourself.

3. Clinging.

When you’re afraid or insecure, you hold on tightly to what you know, even if what you know isn’t particularly good for you.

An absence of fear or insecurity isn’t happiness: It’s just an absence of fear or insecurity.

Holding on to what you think you need won’t make you happier; letting go so you can reach for and try to earn what you want will.

Even if you don’t succeed in earning what you want, the act of trying alone will make you feel better about yourself.

Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.

4. Interrupting.

Interrupting isn’t just rude. When you interrupt someone, what you’re really saying is, “I’m not listening to you so I can understand what you’re saying; I’m listening to you so I can decide what I want to say.”

Want people to like you? Listen to what they say. Focus on what they say. Ask questions to make sure you understand what they say.

They’ll love you for it–and you’ll love how that makes you feel.

5. Whining.

Your words have power, especially over you. Whining about your problems makes you feel worse, not better.

If something is wrong, don’t waste time complaining. Put that effort into making the situation better. Unless you want to whine about it forever, eventually you’ll have to do that. So why waste time? Fix it now.

Don’t talk about what’s wrong. Talk about how you’ll make things better, even if that conversation is only with yourself.

And do the same with your friends or colleagues. Don’t just be the shoulder they cry on.

Friends don’t let friends whine–friends help friends make their lives better.

6. Controlling.

Yeah, you’re the boss. Yeah, you’re the titan of industry. Yeah, you’re the small tail that wags a huge dog.

Still, the only thing you really control is you. If you find yourself trying hard to control other people, you’ve decided that you, your goals, your dreams, or even just your opinions are more important than theirs.

Plus, control is short term at best, because it often requires force, or fear, or authority, or some form of pressure–none of those let you feel good about yourself.

Find people who want to go where you’re going. They’ll work harder, have more fun, and create better business and personal relationships.

And all of you will be happier.

7. Criticizing.

Yeah, you’re more educated. Yeah, you’re more experienced. Yeah, you’ve been around more blocks and climbed more mountains and slayed more dragons.

That doesn’t make you smarter, or better, or more insightful.

That just makes you you: unique, matchless, one of a kind, but in the end, just you.

Just like everyone else–including your employees.

Everyone is different: not better, not worse, just different. Appreciate the differences instead of the shortcomings and you’ll see people–and yourself–in a better light.

8. Preaching.

Criticizing has a brother. His name is Preaching. They share the same father: Judging.

The higher you rise and the more you accomplish, the more likely you are to think you know everything–and to tell people everything you think you know.

When you speak with more finality than foundation, people may hear you but they don’t listen. Few things are sadder and leave you feeling less happy.

9. Dwelling.

The past is valuable. Learn from your mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others.

Then let it go.

Easier said than done? It depends on your focus. When something bad happens to you, see that as a chance to learn something you didn’t know. When another person makes a mistake, see that as an opportunity to be kind, forgiving, and understanding.

The past is just training; it doesn’t define you. Think about what went wrong, but only in terms of how you will make sure that, next time, you and the people around you will know how to make sure it goes right.

10. Fear of Fear

We’re all afraid: of what might or might not happen, of what we can’t change, or what we won’t be able to do, or how other people might perceive us. Let go of the fear of fear

So it’s easier to hesitate, to wait for the right moment, to decide we need to think a little longer or do some more research or explore a few more alternatives.

Meanwhile days, weeks, months, and even years pass us by.

And so do our dreams.

Don’t let your fears hold you back. Whatever you‘ve been planning, whatever you’ve imagined, whatever you’ve dreamed of, get started on it today.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us - Hellen Keller

If you want to start a business, take the first step. If you want to change careers, take the first step. If you want to expand or enter a new market or offer new products or services, take the first step.

Put your fears aside and get started. Do something. Do anything.Otherwise, today is gone. Once tomorrow comes, today is lost forever.

Today is the most precious asset you own–and is the one thing you should truly fear wasting.

 

This article is a version of the original article written by Jeff Haden and appears on inc.com Jeff Haden learned much of what he knows about business and technology as he worked his way up in the manufacturing industry. @jeff_haden

Thanks

Jappreet Sethi

Sep 10

How To Be Happy & Live Happy

Do you know how to be happy? Or are you waiting for happiness to find you? Despite what the fairy tales depict, happiness doesn’t appear by magic. It’s not even something that happens to you. It’s something you can cultivate. So, what are you waiting for? Start discovering how to be happy.

The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. - Unknown

How to be happy: What science tells us

Only 10 percent or so of the variation in people’s reports of happiness can be explained by differences in their circumstances. The bulk of what determines happiness is your personality and — more modifiable — your thoughts and behaviors. So, yes, you can learn how to be happy — or at least happier.

Although you may have thought, as many people do, that happiness comes from being born rich or beautiful or living a stress-free life, the reality is that those things don’t confer lasting happiness. Indeed, how to be happy can’t be boiled down to one thing. Happiness is the sum of your life choices. People who are happy seem to intuitively know this, and their lives are built on the following pillars:

  • Devoting time to family and friends
  • Appreciating what they have
  • Maintaining an optimistic outlook
  • Feeling a sense of purpose
  • Living in the moment

How to be happy: Practice, practice, practice

The good news is that your choices, thoughts and actions can influence your level of happiness. It’s not as easy as flipping a switch, but you can turn up your happiness level. Here’s how to get started on the path to creating a happier you.

Invest in relationships

Surround yourself with happy people. Being around people who are content buoys your own mood. And by being happy yourself, you give something back to those around you.

Friends and family help you celebrate life’s successes and support you in difficult times. Although it’s easy to take friends and family for granted, these relationships need nurturing. Build up your emotional account with kind words and actions. Be careful and gracious with critique. Let people know that you appreciate what they do for you or even just that you’re glad they’re part of your life.

 Express gratitude

Gratitude is more than saying thank you. It’s a sense of wonder, appreciation and, yes, thankfulness for life. It’s easy to go through life without recognizing your good fortune. Often, it takes a serious illness or other tragic event to jolt people into appreciating the good things in their lives. Don’t wait for something like that to happen to you.

Make a commitment to practice gratitude. Each day identify at least one thing that enriches your life. When you find yourself thinking an ungrateful thought, try substituting a grateful one. For example, replace “my sister forgot my birthday” with “my sister has always been there for me in tough times.” Let gratitude be the last thought before you go off to sleep. Let gratitude also be your first thought when you wake up in the morning.

Cultivate optimism

Develop the habit of seeing the positive side of things. You needn’t become a Pollyanna — after all, bad things do happen, and it would be silly to pretend otherwise. But you don’t have to let the negatives color your whole outlook on life. Remember that what is right about you almost always trumps what is wrong about you.

If you’re not an optimistic person by nature, it may take time for you to change your pessimistic thinking. Start by recognizing negative thoughts as you have them. Then take a step back and ask yourself these key questions:

  • Is the situation really as bad as I think?
  • Is there another way to look at the situation?
  • What can I learn from this experience that I can use in the future?

Being happy doesn’t mean you’re perfect. It just means you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections – K. B Indiana

Find your purpose

People who strive to meet a goal or fulfill a mission — whether it’s growing a garden, caring for children or finding one’s spirituality — are happier than those who don’t have such aspirations. Having a goal provides a sense of purpose, bolsters self-esteem and brings people together.

What your goal is ?, doesn’t matter as much as whether the process of working toward it is meaningful to you. Try to align your daily activities with the long-term meaning and purpose of your life. Research studies suggest that relationships provide the strongest meaning and purpose to your life. So cultivate meaningful relationships.

Are you engaged in something you love? If not, ask yourself these questions to discover how you can find your purpose:

  • What excites and energizes me?
  • What are my proudest achievements?
  • How do I want others to remember me?

 Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go

- Oscar Wilde

Live in the moment

Don’t postpone joy waiting for a day when your life is less busy or less stressful. That day may never come. Instead, look for opportunities to savor the small pleasures of everyday life. Focus on the positives in the present moment. Don’t spend your time rehashing the past or worrying about the future. Take time to stop and smell the flowers

This post appears on Mayo Clinic and is contributed By Mayo Clinic staff.

Thanks

Jappreet Sethi

Jun 20

How to Forgive

It’s hard to forgive. The hardest part is not knowing where to start. We know that we should forgive those who have hurt is. Not necessarily because they deserve to be forgiven but more for our benefit. Forgiveness leaves the past behind and allows us to move on once and for all. This post will show you where to begin on your path to forgiveness.

Accept responsibility for what happened

The first step in forgiveness is to accept responsibility for what happened. When you take the responsibility you are in control. As long as you keep blaming someone else for what happened they have control over you.

An exercise in forgiveness

When you are ready to take responsibility, and therefore take back control, commit these sentences to writing. Write this down as many times as it takes until it becomes truth, engraved upon your heart.

{Insert Name Here} is no longer hurting me. I am hurting myself but not letting this go. I now have the courage and the permission to heal and grow from this experience. I taste the freedom of forgiveness. I forgive and am forgiven.

Send your best wishes

There is just one thing left to do. Prove that you don’t mean any harm to the one that hurt you. Take the high road and send genuine best wishes their way. Again, write this down as many times as it takes:
I wish {Insert Name Here} only the best for the future. No ill thought will cross my mind because I have risen above the past and want the same for {Insert Name Here}. May life be full of love, peace and happiness for the both of us.
As you write these sentences down, they should free something inside you. Your mind should become clear and you should start to feel happier and lighter.
This article is contributed by Sheila from Believing in Bubbles
Website – Believing in Bubbles

 

Thanks

Jappreet Sethi

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Apr 14

How To Delegate Effectively?

The biggest limiting factor which hinders growth of successful young managers to middle management is their inability to delegate effectively. There are only so many working hours in a day and you can do only so much all alone. It’s time that you used the power of cloud computing by leveraging the resources available in your network. Understanding how to delegate effectively is certainly one of the most important skills a manager needs to master as he/ she moves up in an organization.

Malcolm Stevenson Forbes said “If you don’t know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk stick a dozen colleague’s initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route.”

Why Should You Delegate Effectively?

The majority of managers are caught in a never ending list of tasks with their bosses on their heels. They work extended hours on weekends, time is never enough. This is a result of doing too much on their own without using their power to delegate effectively.

Learning to delegate effectively is a key career transition skill which the new managers need to imbibe as they grow in their career from being an individual contributor to a team manager.  Delegation is a means of achieving results through the actions of others. Effective delegation is a great tool for developing your people and increasing employee engagement.

Managers who delegate tasks create free time and use it to propel their career by picking up additional tasks beyond their normal duties.  This portrays them in positive light in the eyes of management as they have the “Bandwidth “to take on critical assignments if needed.

How To Delegate Effectively?

This is the most difficult part of learning to delegate and most of the mangers don’t delegate as they taste failure when they delegate for the first time. It’s the once bitten twice shy syndrome. The 10 mantra’s to delegate successfully are.

  1. Set SMART goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time bound for the tasks you plan to delegate.
  2. People need to know what you are expecting from them and by when for the tasks you plan to delegate. People cannot read your mind so don’t assume.
  3. People need to know how you will measure success of the tasks that you plan to delegate.
  4. What are the resources people will get if they work on the tasks that you plan to delegate
  5. Define the checkpoints that you will monitor for the tasks you plan to delegate. Give timely feedback and praise.
  6. People need to understand the bigger picture for the tasks they are working on, this motivates them.
  7. Delegate to the people who can do the job and those who can almost do it, your success depends on the success of the task. Delegate only to people who are ready to handle the challenge and are motivated by the task.
  8. Give people more time than what you would take to complete the task if you delegate it to them – don’t set time lines on your capability.
  9. Be available for help; however desist the urge to do the task. Don’t carry their burden. The goal is to help delegatees proceed from dependence to independence by expanding their comfort zones and potential.
  10. Use people’s strength in allocating tasks which you plan to delegate . Don’t delegate tasks which will expose their weakness and set them and your task for failure.

What Stops You From Delegating Effectively?

Are you an individual contributor in the guise of a team manager, you prefer to do everything yourself because no one else will be able to match the quality you deliver.

  • Do you have unrealistic expectations from your team members and they have to be better than you?
  • Are you a perfectionist and a rare commodity which comes at a personal price which you pay willingly?
  • You cannot take the blame for your team member’s performance.
  • Are you insecure about your role and position and want to keep all the tricks of the trade to yourself and don’t want any of your team members to climb up.
  • You are sometimes more comfortable “doing” than “managing.

If you fit these descriptors maybe you need to rethink if you want to be in the management and team managers role.

As Marshall Goldsmith says -Always remember to “Delegate more effectively — don’t just Delegate more frequently.”

Delegation is one of the most difficult skills to excel in because it is a developmental process for the person delegating the task and the person to whom the task is being delegated.  Delegation is founded on trust and developing the ability to ‘let go’.  So what will you do to multiply your effectiveness by delegating effectively.

Jappreet Sethi

 

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Apr 06

Myth of Work-Life Balance

Work- Life Balance is one of the most debated topic in today’s world. Some believe that this is not being looked at holistically and may not be doable. Jack Welch, former GE CEO says that -“There’s no such thing as Work- Life Balance . There are work- life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences.”

On the other side a majority of staff continue to express dissatisfaction on this count leading to lower employee morale. SHRM ( Society of Human Resource Management) conducted a study of American Work Life Balance which revealed some interesting statistics

  • Among the 89 percent of Americans who say Work- Life Balance is a problem, 54 percent called it a “significant” problem.
  • 51 percent of workers say their Work- Life Balance has not changed because of the recession.

BlueSteps.com, the executive career management service of the Association of Executive Search Consultants (AESC), surveyed over 800 senior executives worldwide to discover the latest attitudes to Work- Life Balance .

  • 73% are often required to work between 6pm and 9pm and 63% are often required to work weekends.
  • 70% believe that a modern lifestyle (e.g. blackberry and Internet) has decreased their leisure time.
  • Only 35% of executives take advantage of their allotted paid time off every year.

Over the years I have done hundreds of exit interviews and Work- Life Balance invariably comes as one of the most often cited reason for exit.  The employee engagement scores continue to be at an all-time low with more than 60 % of the staff in organizations ready to jump ship at the drop of pin. The pertinent question to ask is that will Work Life Balance issue vanish from their life after the staff changes the employer – the probable answer is “NO”

The problem with Work- Life Balance is that it suggests there is a trade-off—that one side must be “up” and the other one “down” like a weight scale that has two sides to it. Using the word “balance” suggests that the two aspects are completely separate from one another. The new world reality is that Work and Life are completed integrated .You can’t segregate work from other parts of your life. Our personal lives and professional lives aren’t separate “Buckets” as defined by Work- Life Balance.

The way to look at Work- Life Balance is not from a tradeoff point but from a point of “Choices You Make”. Work and life stressors will keep on growing and increased expectations and choices around us push us to lead a “good life “It’s time that we move from Work Life Balance to Work- Life Integration.

Work- Life Integration is an outcome of people exercising control and choice in their life to meet life’s challenges. This can be in terms of managing work responsibilities alongside their personal and family needs. The areas of a person’s life which require integration will change based on the individual’s life stages – it is very dynamic.

  1. A young college graduate may be ready to do a 60 hour week in the first few years of his career to learn new skills.
  2.  A new mom/ dad may need time off to take care of child.
  3. A highly successful mid age executive may request for a job sharing program to start a family.
  4. Mid age employees may want to practice some of their hobbies which they could not do in earlier years. –  Theatre and music classes for some colleagues.
  5. Some employees may want to do an 80 hour week – a scientist who may be working on a new drug molecule which has potential to save thousands of lives a year.
  6. People close to retirement may want to spend additional time with graduates to teach them life navigation skills.
  7. A C level executive may want to do a 70 hour work week – there may not be an option and he has to meet the clients and pull the company out of the crisis.
  8. An employee may want to do extra hours as he needs to save additional money for a family requirement.

What can you do for Work- Life Integration?

In my work with the C- Suite executives, I often hear “My job makes me be that way and I don’t have any time on hand.” .The hard reality of Senior Executives is that there are some jobs that make it very difficult to achieve integration.

Try to answer these questions to help you.

  • Do you want to keep work / personal life separate or you are fine with mingling both of them.
  • What is your focus for the next five years – Career / Family / Society
  • What de-stresses you fastest and gives you a big high, can you get a dose of it every day or at least twice a week.
  • What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

The Work -Life Balance  issue is not around the number of hours you work but around the fact – Do you feel being taken for granted and how do you recharge your battery after all this. You need to do things which give you maximum happiness and there are many ways to getting it, ranging from gardening to exercise or by simply talking to your loved ones. You need to figure out your sweet spot and hit it every week. The brain needs to release the happy hormones to keep you going at the same pace.

Instead of blaming someone else for your plight, take control of your life and make choices around it – thereafter own the consequences. Be happy, this life is only for once!

Jappreet Sethi

 

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Apr 04

Accepting Oneself – Boost Self Confidence

Accepting oneself is the beginning of leading a wholesome life, look around and you will find many fellow beings constantly struggling with who they are? Their life remains a constant process of adjusting to everyone’s feedback. They keep on doing this hoping to be perfect – they suppress their originality and may be never reach the worldly desired self. You will also find these individuals immersed in self-help books looking for Harry Potter’s wand.

All of us have innumerable attitudes, likes and dislikes which we will be better off without. Judgment is made and while one likes one’s good parts, one dislikes the others negative parts. With that comes suppression of those aspects of oneself that one is not pleased with. One doesn’t want to know about them and doesn’t acknowledge them. Absence of accepting oneself leads to numerous denials and a problem trap. Denials further lead to anxiety and negativity.

The answer lies in learning to accept the Ying- Yang of ourselves, being comfortable in holding the good and not so good parts of you. In simple words it means agreeing to the complete you while not necessarily agreeing to the parts of you. As a sum total you are the best! – start accepting oneself.

What I am telling you is opposite to what you may have been hearing day in day out from your bosses and members of the management teams– become perfect before one starts accepting oneself.

What does Accepting oneself mean?

Accepting oneself means being comfortable with whatever you are; it is an innate pose of being at peace with yourself. It is very difficult to accept ourselves when we are wishing that that we be different. Acceptance allows you to “BE” rather than repenting for “NOT BEING”.

Accepting oneself means looking at you without colored glasses or making judgments about oneself. You take a hard look at yourself – the reality of you the real you. Accepting yourself doesn’t mean you can’t change anything about yourself, it means recognizing who and what you are, and then making the most of it.

How to do it

Take a sheet of paper and fold it into two halves, label one side as things that I like about myself and the other side as thing that I don’t like about myself.  Honestly fill up both the columns with thoughts as they come to you, don’t sugar coat or be afraid or pen it down. I have done this exercise with dozens of individuals, mostly the list of things which you don’t like about yourself run into two pages. This is due to the inherent flaw in the current societal and organizational system wherein every time you are reminded about what you don’t have and not what you have.

If I were to ask you to choose between head and tail of a coin and tell me which is better than the other, you will not have an answer. A coin has two sides- both sides co-exist. Your strengths bring their counter weakness in you – eg. if you believe you are patient – the flip side is some people will see you as slow. Try to visualize the relationship between the two sides of you – the light side and the dark side. The light side is which we portray to the outer world and the dark side is hidden and kept to our inner dungeons only. Day leads to night and night leads to day – both lead to and into each other – can they be separated?

Remember that you cannot be perfect and it will be equally true to say that you cannot be a perfect failure either.Start accepting oneself.

How does accepting oneself help ?

Accepting and loving you for being yourself is the beginning of a larger journey, it opens you to adapt and accept others for what they are without any caveats. It allows you to relate to others wholeheartedly. You would have realized by now that you do not need to change in order to accept yourself. It’s time to get out of this rat race of constantly chasing what you are not rather than enjoying yourself for what you are. Once you discover who you are you can use your goodness to shape the roles you choose to dawn—both now and in future.

You may have more to gain by developing your gifts and leveraging good parts rather working on weak areas. This will allow you to tap into your known and unknown strengths.

Your friends and partner will accept you for what you are if you are at peace with your real self. I quote this in most of my self-growth workshops; “Accepting oneself is about carrying your weakness with pride and strengths with humility”. Let go of the shame and guilt the world pours on you because you invite it.  You deserve to be happy!

Jappreet Sethi

 

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Nov 20

Reharnessing Painlessly After Long Leave

Returning to work after a long leave is not always an uplifting experience. The mind and metabolism are likely to have adapted to a more leisurely pace, and one may have taken active steps to dissociate from work pressures during the period of leave. This is especially true if the period of leave has been an extended one.

Even if the leave was for attending to personal work rather than for pure relaxation, an employee is bound to experience a disconnect from day-to-day work life on returning to it. There may an overload of emails to attend to, and a number of other accumulated tasks – which would have usually been tackled on a day-to-day basis – to address. Many employees also entertain subtle or overt fears of redundancy even before taking long leave. Specifically, they fear that being absent from work for a long-enough time would cause them to be replaced.

Another variant of the redundancy fear is, “What if they have found out that they don’t really need me at all?” This fear is not uncommon in a scenario where companies are actively ‘right-sizing’ their employee force in order to cut costs. The psychological pressure of this fear can cause many employees to feel extremely intimidated during the first couple of days at work after returning from long leave.

Redundancy fears will wane on their own once the employee has got back into a regular work routine. However, the realities of accumulated work remain. Progressive managers will factor in this very understandable phenomenon and allow the employee a couple of days of readjustment to the workplace routine.

All said and done, one should not expect too much from oneself immediately upon returning from a long leave. It is best to schedule important meetings for a couple of days after being back in harness, and to avoid having an overload of commitments waiting to be tackled. A quick email to one’s manager before returning, asking for a day or two of slower pace till one is fully into the workplace routine again, is perfectly acceptable.

Above all, it is important not to squander the energy generated during a period of R&R on work-related worries, but rather to harness and utilize it in a graded manner for optimal and sustained productivity. This will benefit everyone concerned. It makes sense for employees returning from long leave to spare a few hours prior to actually returning to the office in planning the first three days of work.

Jappreet Sethi

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Nov 05

How To Manage Stress And Regain Well-being

Without doubt, wellbeing is the ultimate objective of human existence. Paradoxically, we often wind up surrendering well-being in order to earn money, and then spend a major part of the earnings in attempts to regain it. These efforts are invariably fruitless – so why do we do it? More often than not, the only real beneficiary of the eternal rat race is the healthcare industry.

For most of us, work is the central pursuit in life. We strive to move up the career ladder, putting up massive efforts at the expense of other important factors that make life meaningful. We are not unaware of the toll this takes; the effort leads to physical and mental stress, while the subconscious knowledge that we engaged in a fool’s errand leads to psychological and spiritual stress.

Managing stress is essential for maintaining a sense of well-being. Stress occurs when we face situations for which we don’t have ready-made responses. The stress factor remains in check and can even be exhilarating as long as our minds entertain the hope that success is imminent. As soon as a feeling of impending defeat or loss sets in, stress becomes unpleasant, unhealthy and draining. This also leads to loss of motivation and destroys all feelings of well-being.

The Building Blocks Of Stress

Stress is multi-faced demon which we create to drive success, and which eventually gobbles us up. It consists of:

  1. Threat perception
  2. Feeling of negativity
  3. The resultant psychological arousal

The drivers of stress are called stressors, and everything perceived as an impediment to what one desires to achieve is a stressor. The defense reaction causes a psychological alarm to go off, and makes us to muster all our energy to achieve the goal. If the situation continues for a prolonged time, the human mind prepares for long-term battle by remaining in a persistent state of active alertness. Eventually, both mind and body tire of this constant stage of red alert. Energy levels drop and there are increased chances of failure at the task level.

The Effects Of Stress

At the mental level, persistent and continuous stress leads to anxiety, insecurity and lack of concentration. At the physical level, it leads to changes in our hormonal secretion, in turn leading to cardiac problems and reduced immunity levels. In the societal realm, it leads to the steady erosion and breakdown of relationships. Burnout – emotional, physical and mental exhaustion mixed with reduced self-confidence and morale – sets in.

The Causes Of Stress

In an organization, some of the commonly observed caused of stress among employees are:

  • Very high or very low role demands
  • Lack of sufficient authority to discharge duties effectively
  • Favoritism and poorly-handled appraisal discussions
  • Lack of career prospects
  • Impending layoff or role redundancy

At a more individual level, existing personal circumstances, learned responses as well as inherent genetic dispositions cause us to react to stress differently. Major life transitions such as the death of family member, family breakdown, illness or loss of friends also play a role and make us sensitive to stressors that would have been ignored under other circumstances.

How to Manage Stress

Here are some of the most effective stress management precepts:

  • Be conscious of your thoughts and deeds, and of what your action do to you and others
  • Maintain a healthy and balanced diet
  • Draw up an integrated life plan – give equal weightage to work, family and society
  • Practice regular yoga and meditation to balance body and mind – there are very easy modules run by several agencies
  • Remember that it is not about winning at all costs but winning without any damage to you

Finally, remember that we cannot remove stress from our life. There are too many causative factors, and not all of them can be stopped. A reasonable degree of stress can actually be beneficial, because it makes us strive for more. However, it is essential to how much is enough for each one of us.

Jappreet Sethi

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