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Category Archive: Work Life Balance

Feb 17

“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.”

Sometimes a new thought or a new idea is all you need to make a lasting change. You can wake up one day and decide to make your entire life change.

If you are new to exercise or you dropped it for a while and you want to get back to doing it, the best way to begin is with small steps.What Do You Want To Do With Your Life

You don’t have to become an athlete overnight to make exercise a part of your lifestyle. It’s actually better if you commit to making small changes in your daily routine instead of reinventing yourself overnight, because you are more likely to stick with it.

Small changes in habits can lead to lasting, permanent change. So think baby steps and incorporate exercise into your life with these tips.

“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live.” — Jim Rohn

1.  Develop a “move more” mindset.

Carving out a specific hour of a day for a workout is great (and we will get to that in a little bit) but first, start each day with the mindset to move more. By reminding your body to get more movement throughout the day, you will be more likely to do it. So sit less and stand more. Take more steps and stairs. Walk to talk with a coworker instead of emailing them.

Stretch in your chair, squat to pick something up, park far away from stores so you will walk more, stand up when you talk on the phone and do some exercises while you watch TV. There are numerous ways you can sneak more movement into your day. Begin each day with a move more mindset and you will find them.

2.  Commit to regular activity.

You may not be the type of person who wants to train for a triathlon and that’s perfectly okay. You don’t have to become a fitness buff to benefit from exercise and movement. Start by committing to getting activity regularly. Schedule exercise like any other appointment on your calendar and treat it as a commitment rather than something you squeeze in if you have time. Even if you can only allot 15 minutes at a time, schedule it.

Take a short walk. Walk at a leisurely pace at first if exercise is new to you. You can build up to a power walk. If that’s not your thing, take a fitness class, swim laps or sign up for dance classes. Whatever exercise you start, build up slowly so you don’t overwhelm yourself and give up. If your body isn’t accustomed to regular exercise, build up slowly day by day so you don’t get too sore and throw in the towel altogether.

3.  Find your favorite exercise.

I know people who commit to a form of exercise and hate it. How long do you think they will keep that up? We aren’t inclined to dive in or stick to things we despise. Out of all the forms of exercise out there, find one you just love. Get really specific. Don’t just say, “yoga” discover what form of yoga is your favorite. If swimming is your thing, do you prefer swimming laps or water aerobics? Or maybe you’d dread a step class but you can’t get enough of Pilates.

A good way to identify what type of exercise is right for you is to first figure out if you like to exercise alone, with a partner or in a group setting. You may have to experiment a little bit before you know. Try different forms of exercise until you find one that energizes you physically and mentally. Find your favorite exercise—one where excuses won’t even enter the equation when it’s time to exercise.

4.  Focus on health and strength and what it means to you, and not on numbers on a scale.

Many people can get easily discouraged and give up when there’s too much emphasis on weight loss. Rather than an exclusive focus on weight loss, focus on the joys of exercise and movement instead. Take pride in your body getting stronger or your new ability to able to exercise longer, even if it’s just in baby steps. Think about the great way your body feels after exercise and the exhilaration you feel. Taking the time to consider what really connects you to exercise on an emotional level, is powerful because you can use those thoughts to motivate you.

Most likely what motivates you runs much deeper than getting skinnier or being a specific set of three numbers on a scale. Identify what it is for you. Maybe you want to have more energy for your children or grandchildren or you want to be in more control of your health—whatever is your core motivation—connect to it.

5.  Add strength training to your weekly routine.

Exercise isn’t just cardio alone. Strength training is critically important to retain muscle as you age, have a strong body and an effective metabolism. Even if you focus on just one muscle group a day and do three different exercises with three sets of 15 each for that muscle group you will benefit. You can divide strength training up throughout the week. Try two days a week to start and work up to three. Strength training will change how you feel, help you conquer your workouts with all that new muscle you are developing, and it’s the secret to a revved up metabolism.

6.  Put yourself first.

Stressful situations can take your focus away from properly caring for yourself. If you neglect yourself for the sake of external problems, you will be creating more problems than you are solving. Make sure you consider what you need and do something—however small—for yourself each day. Even if you only have 15 minutes, just commit to 15 minutes. It all goes back to the oxygen philosophy you hear about on planes flight attendants advice: “Put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.” Put the mask on you first and then your children. You aren’t able to effectively take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first. Keep that in mind.

7.  Exercise with a group.

Exercise doesn’t have to be a solo sport. Make it an outing with friends and family. When you join up with others to exercise, not only do you get the immediate benefits of exercise, you also get time spent with friends—a double deposit into your well-being. When you discover physical activities and forms of exercise you love, you develop a sense of camaraderie and community with others. Accountability works.

8.  Think of how exercise boosts your sense of well-being.

You probably know exercise can help you live longer and go a long way to disease prevention, but what you might find more rewarding is to think about all the immediate benefits exercise provides to your well-being. While the long-term benefits are numerous, let’s face it, many of us aren’t motivated by what we can prevent decades down the road. Think short-term instead. All of us can use exercise today to get more energy, alleviate stress, increase productivity, improve our outlook, sleep better and feel happier—today! Think about what you stand to gain if you work out today. Maybe it’s a sunnier disposition or the satisfaction in knowing you pushed your body. Just give it some thought or better yet, make a list.

9.  Look to the future

Don’t get caught up in guilt or regret because you haven’t worked out or don’t beat yourself up if it has been a while. Guilt and regret only make you feel badly, they don’t get you where you are headed. With a simple decision in your mind, you can let go of what you did or didn’t do and just start again. Look forward. If you are feeling badly about yourself, you are less likely to make positive change. Start over with a clear plan of what you will commit to doing each day for your health.

10.  Avoid stop and start and stop again syndrome

One great way to kill your confidence is to constantly start and stop your exercise routine. It’s common for people to get psyched up and dive in to working out and then drop it altogether when the craziness of life intervenes. But if you start and stop all the time, you are setting yourself up for a never-ending cycle, where you won’t see any progress. Don’t tackle the world in a day. Think baby steps. Think of what you can do and schedule today even if it’s small increments of time that you eventually build upon. Commit to what you can achieve, at least at first.

11.  Remind yourself daily of your why.

It’s easy to get off track if you aren’t reminding yourself of why working out and eating healthy is important to you. This goes back to your core motivation that we addressed earlier. If you make it automatic to wake up and remind yourself of why exercise is important to you, you will be more likely to keep your commitments to yourself. You also will be putting exercise front and center on your day instead of treating it as an afterthought that you skip at day’s end. Wake up thinking of what exercise you will do today and it becomes a priority.

12.  Stretch post workouts.

An effective exercise regimen involves cardio, strength training and stretching. Stretching after exercise can help relax and balance tension caused by the workout itself. Post-workout, when your body is warm is the ideal time to stretch. The risk of muscle injury is much lower, and you will save yourself from tight, sore muscles the following day. Plus, the calm, relaxing feeling of a good stretch is a great way to end a workout.

Try some of these steps to make exercise a part of your life. Remember, a great way to avoid skipping workouts is to ask yourself how you will feel afterward. You can feel proud of your dedication and gain the exhilaration of accomplishment, or you can be disappointed and defeated that you skipped, again.

About the Author

Chris Freytag is a health and fitness expert, blogger, author and motivational speaker. She has been teaching fitness classes and personal training for over 20 years. She is a contributing editor for Prevention Magazine; the fitness contributor for the NBC affiliate in Minneapolis; and sits on the Board of Directors for the American Council on Exercise.Visit Chris‘ website, www.chrisfreytag.com, and Facebook page,www.facebook.com/chrisfreytagpage for more information.

Nov 17

What Do You Want to Do with Your Life

It’s time for the big questions everyone asks themselves: Why am I here? What am I here to do?

What Do You Want To Do With Your LifeSuddenly, I knew what I wanted. It was the eve of my fourth birthday, and for weeks I had been trying to decide what big present I’d like on my special day. Nothing had sprung to mind, until now. I immediately went to find my mum.

“Mummy, I know what I want for my birthday,” I yelled.

“What do you want?” she asked, excitedly.

“I want a briefcase,” I said, jumping up and down.

“Really?” she asked.

“Yes, it’s what I really, really want!”

“Why do you want a briefcase?”

“I want to do something important with my life,” I said.

“What do you want to do?” my mum asked.

“I don’t know yet,” I said, “but having a briefcase will be a big help.”

It starts from an early age—the curiosity about life and what life is really for. Initially, the curiosity expresses itself as questions: Why is there a sun? What is the purpose of ants? Why did God make cucumbers? Why do we have skin? Why do I have a life? If the curiosity is encouraged, you explore the questions looking for insights, inspiration, epiphanies and eureka moments. The rest of your life is about living the questions and discovering the answers that help you to be truly happy.

In my work, I help individuals, groups and organizations to clarify and strengthen their sense of purpose. My clients recognize the essential value of knowing your purpose, and so they often fly me across the world to help them explore this vital subject. Discovering your purpose is what helps you to be true to yourself, to remember what is real, to be creative, to be resilient and to live your best life. A purpose-led life is a blessed life.

If I asked you, “What is the purpose of your life?” what would you say? Have you figured it out yet? Are you still searching? Are you clearer than you used to be? In this article, I am going to share with you six coaching exercises that have helped me to get clear about my life purpose.

I have shared these exercises with thousands of people over the years. They really work, and they can work for you too. I must emphasize, however, these exercises are not just for your spiritual entertainment; they require some work from you! So let’s begin.

A Shared Purpose

“I feel like I have a really big purpose, but I feel stuck. I don’t know how to begin,” said Susan, a 38-year-old drama teacher.

“When did you first feel like you had a big purpose?” I asked.

“About four years old, or even earlier,” she replied.

“Who or what has helped you the most to get clear about what your big purpose is?” I asked.

Susan paused for a moment. “Nothing and no one,” she replied. “I guess I’ve been trying to work it out by myself.”

“That’s why you feel stuck,” I told her.

Be clear about this: Your purpose is bigger than your ego. All too often, the ego—the voice in your head that believes you are separate from everyone else—wants you to find your purpose so you will feel special, unique, superior and less neurotic than others. However, to discover your purpose, you have to be willing to connect to something bigger than your ego (your “mini me”, to quote Austin Powers). Connection is the key to inspiration.

It is the spiritual imperative of every human to overcome his or her perceived sense of aloneness. This is the key to big, real, meaningful, juicy success. Your purpose is to heal the illusion of separation and realize your oneness with creation. Why is this important? Because your purpose is not just about you; it involves your family, your friends and ultimately all of humanity. Knowing this helps you to open yourself up to inspiration and help from other people, from the divine, from nature and from life itself.

Exercise 1: At the deepest level, the human race has a shared purpose. Ask yourself then, “What do I think is the purpose of humanity?” I know this is a BIG question, but don’t let your ego put you off. You are a fully paid member of the human race and are equally qualified, along with everyone else, to answer this question. Be still and listen. Visualize how humanity needs to grow and how you want to grow. Think about what the human race still needs to learn and what you need to learn. Reflect on what is your shared purpose with all of humanity.

The Real You

“I’m tired,” said Melissa, a 42-year-old marketing manager.

“What are you tired of?” I asked.

“I’m tired of searching for my purpose,” she replied.

“Searching is tiring,” I said.

“I just want to give up,” she said.

“I recommend you give up immediately,” I said.

“What do you mean?” asked Melissa, looking startled.

“I want you to give up searching outside of yourself for your purpose.”

The purpose of your life is to discover who you are. It is to meet yourself and to identify what you are made of and what you are made for. To do this, you have to be willing to give yourself some special attention. You have to stop “going” “doing” and “chasing” and start spending more time “being” with yourself. You have to connect consciously with what I call your unconditioned self, the original essence of who you are. Your unconditioned self wants you to know yourself. It wants you to know who you really are.

Exercise 2: Book a meeting with yourself, and explore this question, “From 0 to 10, how alive do I feel?” Zero represents “the living dead,” and 10 represents “100 percent alive.” Notice how alive you feel in your life right now, and identify what would help you to feel even more alive. In particular, name specifically what inspires you and what motivates you to show up in your life each day. To live your purpose, you have to dare to be even more of who you really are.

A Call to Joy

Since 1992, I have been the director of The Happiness Project—a project that explores the psychology, sociology and spirituality of happiness. I am an advocate for happiness because I believe the purpose of happiness is to help you to find your purpose. When you know what makes you happy, it helps you to remember who you really are and to give yourself more wholeheartedly in your life.

Here is the vision statement of The Happiness Project:

It is because the world is so full of suffering,

that your happiness is a gift.

It is because the world is so full of poverty,

that your wealth is a gift.

It is because the world is so unfriendly,

that your smile is a gift.

It is because the world is so full of war,

that your peace of mind is a gift.

It is because the world is in such despair,

that your hope and optimism is a gift.

It is because the world is so afraid,

that your love is a gift.

Exercise 3: Placed inside every human being is a call to joy, and the purpose of your life is to answer that call. People who follow their joy experience the fullness of their being. They are the renaissance workers who evolve the consciousness of humanity. In this exercise, called “At My Happiest,” identify all the occasions when you feel truly happy. Afterward, reflect on what this exercise has taught you about your true purpose in life.

Your Heart’s Prayer

Since 1996, I have been the director of Success Intelligence, a project that explores the heart and soul of authentic success. Central to this work, is the exploration of life purpose. Several years ago, I was asked by a journalist to sum up the heart of my work with Success Intelligence in 100 words.

My answer to her question reveals what I believe to be an essential key to discovering your purpose. Here is what I wrote:

Before you dedicate your life to a person, a marriage, a family;

to a corporation, a political party, a peace campaign;

to a religion, a revolution, a spiritual path;

make one other dedication first.

First dedicate yourself to LOVE.

Decide to let Love be your

intention, your purpose and your point.

And then let Love inspire you,

support you, and guide you in every other dedication

you make thereafter.

Exercise 4: To discover the purpose of your life, you have to “let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love,” Rumi said. If you love enough, you will surely fulfill your purpose on earth. You can begin right now by listening to your heart, which is the doorway to your unconditioned self. Your heart knows your true purpose. It keeps no secrets from you. All you have to do is listen. A few years ago, I found the following words by Matthew Anderson, which I share with all my clients. His words make a great exercise: “There is a prayer that lives in the center of your heart. If you pray it, it will change your life. How does it begin?”

Your Real Work

I once coached a man named Neil who said, “For 23 years, I went to work without a purpose. I had a reason, which was money. But a reason is not the same thing as a purpose.” Neil had worked for a bank his entire adult life and, although he had gotten many promotions and pay raises, he still felt unfulfilled. He came to see me to find his purpose. We talked about the difference between busyness and purpose. We began by acknowledging there is a world of difference between having a job and having a purpose.

Exercise 5: In my coaching sessions, I help my clients to create their own unique business cards. Instead of writing your job title on this card, you get to write your purpose. I recommend you use a maximum of three words to name your purpose. For example, a hairdresser I once coached wrote, “Self-Esteem Consultant.” “The purpose of my work is to help people feel good about themselves,” he said. You can also add a motto, an affirmation, a symbol, a mission statement or anything else. The idea is to identify your real work.

Choosing Your Purpose

“I’ve been searching for my purpose my whole life,” said Sheila, a 44-year-old-housewife. “And no matter how much I search, I still can’t find my purpose.”

“What would you like your purpose to be?” I asked.

“I don’t think I understand the question,” said Sheila.

“Well, if searching for a purpose isn’t working, I recommend you choose a purpose.”

“How do I do that?” asked Sheila.

The way to discover your purpose is to live a purpose-centered life. In practical terms, this means focusing on and being receptive to the highest purpose of every situation you find yourself in. For example, before you attend a meeting, you might say a prayer like, “Dear God, show me the purpose of me being here.” Or, before an important conversation with a friend, you might want to connect with your heart and think about what the real purpose of your friendship is. Or, before you even get out of bed in the morning, you might want to choose how you want to feel today.

Exercise 6: Wherever you find yourself—in a meeting, driving your kids to school, on a date, waiting for a bus—make it a habit to be as open as possible to what is really happening. This will help you to be truly present and receptive in your life. Also, be mindful of how you are being and what you are giving, and make sure your choices are aligned to what you most want to experience. Your purpose is something you live each day, and it’s something you give from you heart to the world.

 

This Post appears on Oprah.com  and is contributed by Robert Holden, PhD. Robert’s innovative work on happiness and well-being have been featured on The Oprah Show and Good Morning America and also in two major BBC TV documentaries, The Happiness Formula and How to Be Happy, shown to more than 30 million TV viewers worldwide. He is the author of the best-selling books Happiness NOW!, Shift Happens! and Success Intelligence. His latest book, Be Happy, is published by Hay House. Robert lives in London with his wife and daughter.
 

Thanks

Jappreet Sethi

Apr 14

How To Delegate Effectively?

The biggest limiting factor which hinders growth of successful young managers to middle management is their inability to delegate effectively. There are only so many working hours in a day and you can do only so much all alone. It’s time that you used the power of cloud computing by leveraging the resources available in your network. Understanding how to delegate effectively is certainly one of the most important skills a manager needs to master as he/ she moves up in an organization.

Malcolm Stevenson Forbes said “If you don’t know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk stick a dozen colleague’s initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route.”

Why Should You Delegate Effectively?

The majority of managers are caught in a never ending list of tasks with their bosses on their heels. They work extended hours on weekends, time is never enough. This is a result of doing too much on their own without using their power to delegate effectively.

Learning to delegate effectively is a key career transition skill which the new managers need to imbibe as they grow in their career from being an individual contributor to a team manager.  Delegation is a means of achieving results through the actions of others. Effective delegation is a great tool for developing your people and increasing employee engagement.

Managers who delegate tasks create free time and use it to propel their career by picking up additional tasks beyond their normal duties.  This portrays them in positive light in the eyes of management as they have the “Bandwidth “to take on critical assignments if needed.

How To Delegate Effectively?

This is the most difficult part of learning to delegate and most of the mangers don’t delegate as they taste failure when they delegate for the first time. It’s the once bitten twice shy syndrome. The 10 mantra’s to delegate successfully are.

  1. Set SMART goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time bound for the tasks you plan to delegate.
  2. People need to know what you are expecting from them and by when for the tasks you plan to delegate. People cannot read your mind so don’t assume.
  3. People need to know how you will measure success of the tasks that you plan to delegate.
  4. What are the resources people will get if they work on the tasks that you plan to delegate
  5. Define the checkpoints that you will monitor for the tasks you plan to delegate. Give timely feedback and praise.
  6. People need to understand the bigger picture for the tasks they are working on, this motivates them.
  7. Delegate to the people who can do the job and those who can almost do it, your success depends on the success of the task. Delegate only to people who are ready to handle the challenge and are motivated by the task.
  8. Give people more time than what you would take to complete the task if you delegate it to them – don’t set time lines on your capability.
  9. Be available for help; however desist the urge to do the task. Don’t carry their burden. The goal is to help delegatees proceed from dependence to independence by expanding their comfort zones and potential.
  10. Use people’s strength in allocating tasks which you plan to delegate . Don’t delegate tasks which will expose their weakness and set them and your task for failure.

What Stops You From Delegating Effectively?

Are you an individual contributor in the guise of a team manager, you prefer to do everything yourself because no one else will be able to match the quality you deliver.

  • Do you have unrealistic expectations from your team members and they have to be better than you?
  • Are you a perfectionist and a rare commodity which comes at a personal price which you pay willingly?
  • You cannot take the blame for your team member’s performance.
  • Are you insecure about your role and position and want to keep all the tricks of the trade to yourself and don’t want any of your team members to climb up.
  • You are sometimes more comfortable “doing” than “managing.

If you fit these descriptors maybe you need to rethink if you want to be in the management and team managers role.

As Marshall Goldsmith says -Always remember to “Delegate more effectively — don’t just Delegate more frequently.”

Delegation is one of the most difficult skills to excel in because it is a developmental process for the person delegating the task and the person to whom the task is being delegated.  Delegation is founded on trust and developing the ability to ‘let go’.  So what will you do to multiply your effectiveness by delegating effectively.

Jappreet Sethi

 

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Apr 06

Myth of Work-Life Balance

Work- Life Balance is one of the most debated topic in today’s world. Some believe that this is not being looked at holistically and may not be doable. Jack Welch, former GE CEO says that -“There’s no such thing as Work- Life Balance . There are work- life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences.”

On the other side a majority of staff continue to express dissatisfaction on this count leading to lower employee morale. SHRM ( Society of Human Resource Management) conducted a study of American Work Life Balance which revealed some interesting statistics

  • Among the 89 percent of Americans who say Work- Life Balance is a problem, 54 percent called it a “significant” problem.
  • 51 percent of workers say their Work- Life Balance has not changed because of the recession.

BlueSteps.com, the executive career management service of the Association of Executive Search Consultants (AESC), surveyed over 800 senior executives worldwide to discover the latest attitudes to Work- Life Balance .

  • 73% are often required to work between 6pm and 9pm and 63% are often required to work weekends.
  • 70% believe that a modern lifestyle (e.g. blackberry and Internet) has decreased their leisure time.
  • Only 35% of executives take advantage of their allotted paid time off every year.

Over the years I have done hundreds of exit interviews and Work- Life Balance invariably comes as one of the most often cited reason for exit.  The employee engagement scores continue to be at an all-time low with more than 60 % of the staff in organizations ready to jump ship at the drop of pin. The pertinent question to ask is that will Work Life Balance issue vanish from their life after the staff changes the employer – the probable answer is “NO”

The problem with Work- Life Balance is that it suggests there is a trade-off—that one side must be “up” and the other one “down” like a weight scale that has two sides to it. Using the word “balance” suggests that the two aspects are completely separate from one another. The new world reality is that Work and Life are completed integrated .You can’t segregate work from other parts of your life. Our personal lives and professional lives aren’t separate “Buckets” as defined by Work- Life Balance.

The way to look at Work- Life Balance is not from a tradeoff point but from a point of “Choices You Make”. Work and life stressors will keep on growing and increased expectations and choices around us push us to lead a “good life “It’s time that we move from Work Life Balance to Work- Life Integration.

Work- Life Integration is an outcome of people exercising control and choice in their life to meet life’s challenges. This can be in terms of managing work responsibilities alongside their personal and family needs. The areas of a person’s life which require integration will change based on the individual’s life stages – it is very dynamic.

  1. A young college graduate may be ready to do a 60 hour week in the first few years of his career to learn new skills.
  2.  A new mom/ dad may need time off to take care of child.
  3. A highly successful mid age executive may request for a job sharing program to start a family.
  4. Mid age employees may want to practice some of their hobbies which they could not do in earlier years. –  Theatre and music classes for some colleagues.
  5. Some employees may want to do an 80 hour week – a scientist who may be working on a new drug molecule which has potential to save thousands of lives a year.
  6. People close to retirement may want to spend additional time with graduates to teach them life navigation skills.
  7. A C level executive may want to do a 70 hour work week – there may not be an option and he has to meet the clients and pull the company out of the crisis.
  8. An employee may want to do extra hours as he needs to save additional money for a family requirement.

What can you do for Work- Life Integration?

In my work with the C- Suite executives, I often hear “My job makes me be that way and I don’t have any time on hand.” .The hard reality of Senior Executives is that there are some jobs that make it very difficult to achieve integration.

Try to answer these questions to help you.

  • Do you want to keep work / personal life separate or you are fine with mingling both of them.
  • What is your focus for the next five years – Career / Family / Society
  • What de-stresses you fastest and gives you a big high, can you get a dose of it every day or at least twice a week.
  • What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

The Work -Life Balance  issue is not around the number of hours you work but around the fact – Do you feel being taken for granted and how do you recharge your battery after all this. You need to do things which give you maximum happiness and there are many ways to getting it, ranging from gardening to exercise or by simply talking to your loved ones. You need to figure out your sweet spot and hit it every week. The brain needs to release the happy hormones to keep you going at the same pace.

Instead of blaming someone else for your plight, take control of your life and make choices around it – thereafter own the consequences. Be happy, this life is only for once!

Jappreet Sethi

 

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